Understanding
by Percyjacksonfan3
Summary: The night of the events at Cupid's palace (in HoH) Nico gets a knock at his door. Who is it? Jason of course. Trying to talk and provide some sort of comfort. Yet Nico doesn't want it, and more than that, he actively tries to avoid it. But Jason's trying and Nico has to give him some credit for that. It's good, I promise, spoilers for House of Hades! Jasico friendship!


**Disclaimer: Rick owns everything- even the small little things! Although Nico having Mythomagic PJ's... I want it to be canon.**

oooOOOooo

Nico hated nights on the Argo II.

Just because he was a son of Hades didn't necessarily mean he enjoyed darkness. Sure he felt more comortable in it, he spent most of his time there but... he didn't like it. He didn't like the creeping feeling of not knowing what's around you, the uncertain safety of night. Anything could creep up behind him and sure, he'd probably notice, but it was always easier for a monster to stab you in the back in the dark.

Plus when it was dark people tended to be alone. Unless they were at some sort of party, or an odd couple, you were most likely without another soul in the shadows. With nothing but your own thoughts.

Nico hated his thoughts.

They plagued him and would either make him grit his teeth and push them away- along with the emotions that accompanied them- or he would be busy worrying about people. His friends, the people he loved. Hazel, even Frank a little bit, Jason and... Percy.

He turned over in his bunk, facing the wall in darkness. Today had been the worst since Percy's fall into Tartarus. He had gone with Jason to get that stupid scepter from Cupid, had gone knowing what he would have to do- what he would have to give up...

Nico had almost hoped he wouldn't have to do it. That there might have been another way, that perhaps Jason could have done something.

But no. He had known and deep down the hope had been false hope. He had known what he had to do to get the scepter for everyone. For Percy.

And he had done it. Because they had all needed him to, because it was the only way to get Percy and Annabeth out of Tartarus. For Nico, it would be better if Percy never knew what he had to go through to get him back. Better for him to think all Nico had done was bring everyone to the House of Hades.

Of course, they weren't there yet. They were on their way and the thought that Percy might be safe soon, that maybe Nico could see him as soon as tomorrow even...

It was like gates slammed down in his mind, stopping the thoughts and pushing away the feelings. No Nico, he told himself. No. You weren't lying to Jason when you told him you were over Percy. And first you need to actually get there and survive. Only then can you get Percy and Annabeth out of Tartarus. You need Percy and Annabeth to make it to the Doors and survive.

He closed his eyes, quickly, for barely a second. Just long enough to feel that familiar flicker of life when he thought of Percy, and relief filled him. A relief so strong it made his heart beat fast, his mind ease, even if it was only for a second. They were alive. Percy was still alive and to Nico, that meant things were still at least a little bit okay.

Because a world without Percy Jackson? That was, to Nico, unthinkable. Unbearable and unlivable.

He let out a deep, shaking breath and before he could try and force himself to fall asleep, force thoughts from today from his mind, he heard a knock at his door.

"Not now Hazel," he groaned, rolling over and yet getting up anyway, rubbing his eyes and making his way through the dark to find a light switch. "I'm trying to sleep, for Father's sake-"

A throat cleared on the other side of the door and Nico froze just as his hand touched the light switch. "Erm, it's not Hazel. It's me."

Nico stayed frozen, eyes trained on the door even though he couldn't quite make it out in the dark.

"Jason," the boy clarified as he recieved nothing but silence in response. "Look can I come in? I thought maybe- we could talk. I mean-"

He broke off as Nico, suddenly regaining movement of his limbs and rational thought, flicked on the switch and yanked open the door, glaring.

Jason stopped talking, mouth left open for a moment at Nico's sudden appearance. Nico felt a pang in his chest at the knowledge that whenever he came around people seemed to lose ability of speech.

Jason looked as he always did. The perfect golden boy. Hair in his clean cut, scar above his lip, a purple Camp Jupiter shirt and boxer shorts clearly someone had been getting ready for bed. And blue eyes, so clear and shining, just like his sisters, just like Thalia's-

He closed his eyes, briefly, so quickly Jason wouldn't notice, at the thought of his cousin. He missed Thalia. Missed her a lot more than he missed most people from his demigod life. She was more than Nico's cousins, she was one of his best friends and he missed her...

She understood, he knew, what it was like to be a child of the Big Three, treated differently because of who your parent was. She was one of the only people who didn't seem to care whether Nico was a son of Hades or a son of Iris. To Thalia, he was just _Nico_.

Jason barely took in Nico's appearance. Messy dark hair, pale skin, eyes that seemed to glare and look defeated at the same time. A dark shirt and dark PJ pants. Nico couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of relief at the thought that he almost wore his Mythomagic PJ set tonight. Gods, now that would have been embarassing.

"What?" Nico snapped. "What is it? Is it Hazel-"

Jason shook his head before Nico finished speaking. "No." His tone was quiet and almost gentle, something that made Nico bristle and a feeling of dread fill his stomach, make it feel like he was about to throw up. "Nothing like that." The son of Jupiter went on.

The dread intensified. If it wasn't Hazel, if no one was being attacked or hurt, there was only one reason Jason would have come to his room. And that was-

"I want to talk." Jason said, blue eyes clear and determined. "About today."

The son of Hades grit his teeth. "Do you."

It wasn't a question and it was harsh. Jason looked like he was resisting the urge to flinch and something pained came over his expression. Nico wondered if he regretted coming.

Well too bad, he decided. Jason had already woken Nico up- not that he would admit he had already been awake anyway. He was going to come in and talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. Anything had to be better than Nico's thoughts stopping him from sleeping.

"Come in then," Nico said. "Get it over with."

He stepped back and Nico noticed Jason hesitate for a second- only a second, but it was still hesitation nonetheless. He pushed down the irrational pang of hurt he felt at the action and instead closed the door, turning with his arms crossed to face the golden boy.

"Nico," Jason started and then faltered. There was something gentle in his tone, something understanding, and it made anger surge up in the son of Hades.

Because Jason would never and could never understand. He was Jason Grace, for the gods sakes, son of Jupiter. He was perfect. The star. The leader. He had the perfect girlfriend who was pretty and nice and popular and sweet. He was skilled with weapons and a leader and people respected and liked him. People wanted to be him.

He could never understand. Nico was none of those things. He was a son of Hades and, more than that, gay. He hated himself for it, every second of every day, but that did nothing to shut it off. Nothing to stop it. More than the fact that it was wrong, it was so cliche. Zeus's son? Perfect. Poseidon's son? It was Percy freaking Jackson for crying out loud. Hades's son?

Nico di'Angelo. Loner. Loser. Through gay on top of that. No wonder children of Hades were treated as weirdos, as outcasts. No wonder Hades was so disappointed in him. Nico was giving everyone who had anything to do with him a bad name.

But he could never say that to Jason, never explain it. There was no way to say it, no way to make Jason understand. Jason looked at is as simple. If Nico would only come out, people would accept him.

He resisted the urge to snort. As if it was that easy.

"Nico." Jason tried again, this time more pulled together. "If you- if you want to talk-"

"You came to my room, Grace." Nico pointed out. "Not the other way around."

But there was a weak note in his voice and by the way Jason's eyes soften Nico can tell he heard it.

"Nico being gay-" Nico flinched so hard he hit the back of his head on the door to his room. Gods, Jason didn't have to come right out and say it-" it's not a bad thing. People... it's really not a big deal."

"I-" Nico meant for his voice to come out strong but it came out very weak and vulnerable instead. He closed his eyes, took a breath and started again, feeling Jason's eyes on him. "Jason. I know what you're trying to do. Stop, okay? I- it won't do anything."

"Nico," Jason moved to sit on Nico's bed and Nico watched him carefully, eyes narrowed slightly. Jason had seemed awkward before but now... now he didn't. Not at all. "I know you were born into a different time. And I know you don't believe me, but I get it. I understand." His eyes were earnest and honest and so, so blue like his sisters. For a second Nico almost believed him. "I swear to you, things are different now. Things have changed. People have changed." Jason grinned, a small grin that made Nico wonder if it was meant to comfort him. "You act like you're the first gay demigod ever."

Nico felt like he'd just been punched. He felt what little colour he had drain out of his face. "What did you say?" He whispered.

Jason shook his head. "I remember you coming to visit Camp Jupiter before I was taken by Hera. New Rome? All those demigods there? Even the ones in the camp... Nico, you can't have thought that every single one of them was straight. There's hundreds of them- us. At least one of them was bound to be like you."

Nico felt something unfamiliar in his stomach and it took him a moment to identify it as hope- hope and yearning. "I..."

"There's more than one." Jason said. "A lot more. And I bet if you really looked at the people in Camp Half-Blood- your real home-" once again he ignored Nico's flinch, "you'd see that not all of them are exactly like you thought either." Finally Jason stood up and walked up to Nico and Nico suddenly realized that Jason was as tall, if not taller than Percy. He had to look up to meet his eyes. "You are not alone."

Nico opened his mouth, not knowing what he would say, but he couldn't speak past the lump in his throat. His head felt foggy, he was dazed and confused. "You don't understand."

Jason ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I don't see-" He broke off and realization dawned in his eyes. "Unless you won't go back because Percy will be there."

This time Nico didn't need to flinch for Jason to know his words had hit home. Jason watched him carefully, watched as Nico looked down and dark started to pulse around him. Feeling the beginning pricks of fear, Jason reached out on reflex and grabbed Nico's arm, below the shoulder.

It wasn't threatening, it was comforting; but Nico was somebody who wasn't used to being touched and he jerked back, hand moving to his side even though his sword was propped by the door, his powers seeming to almost push outward-

Jason didn't let go and Nico, after getting over his startled reaction, looked at him with wide dark eyes. "Nico." He said comfortingly. "Percy is just one demigod. It's not fair for you to stop living your life just to let him live his. Besides, I know Percy wouldn't want you to do this if he knew."

"If he knew he wouldn't want to be in the same room as me," Nico said bitterly.

Jason shook his head. "You've known him longer than I have, Nico, and we both know that's not true. Why are you so afraid of having a family?"

Nico looked up at him and for a second there was silence before he wrenched his arm out of Jason's grasp and turned to open the door, stepping to it's side before Jason could do anything. "It's time for you to go."

Jason opened his mouth, seemed to see the look on Nico's face, and thought better of it. Instead he just walked and, before leaving, stopped in the doorway. "And whatever else you think Nico, know this. Even if the others don't, even if there's no one else... I'll stand by you. I'll defend you. I wasn't lying when I said that what you did today was the bravest thing I've ever seen. I wish I could be that brave."

"Please," Nico's throat was dry and his eyes were starting to blur ever so slightly. "Please leave."

And Jason, after taking one last, searching glance of his face, did.

Nico closed the door behind him and turned to lean against it, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor, knees up, head in his hands.

What was he doing? What was Jason doing? Did he think he was helping? How did that possibly help?

Nico squeezed his eyes tight shut. He heard Jason's voice in his head, saying again "_Why are you so afraid of having a family?_"

Nico knew why. It was because his family and anyone he had ever cared about all ended up dead. All of them except his father and that- that hardly mattered at all.

Percy's face flashed behind his eyelids and he squeezed his eyes tighter closed, one lone tear trailing down his right cheek.

If Nico didn't admit that he loved people then maybe they wouldn't end up dead. Maybe he wouldn't kill anyone else.

Maybe.

oooOOOooo

**Oh Nico. The only thing I like about Jason at the moment is how nice he is to Nico. That poor boy needs someone to look after and love him and I'm hoping Reyna or Jason (or both) will be those people. He needs someone to show him that they care and won't leave him like everyone else did. **

***sighs* my poor demigod babies. I worry about them. **

**Well you guys know how this works by now. Review if you love it, review if you hate it, review if you just don't care... Although I do prefer the first.**

**Love you all!**

**Percyjacksonfan3**


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